i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Do vagina's smell?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
