Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
