Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
