I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
