sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
