I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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