She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
