Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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