if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
