girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
