They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
so much tequila, so little girl.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
