Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dick very happy bro
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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