a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
