So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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