before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I have fence marks all over my body
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
