We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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