sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
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