Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
