Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
