I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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