hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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