He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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