Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
