so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
