I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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