I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
