She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
