birth control should be required to get into college
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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