Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
