I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
