I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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