She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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