She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
