She is in my trunk
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
