who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
