Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
