I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
