If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
