btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
