According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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