One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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