so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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