READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
BRING THE BAGELS
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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