the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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