How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize