Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
