he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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