i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
