he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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