Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
