you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
