The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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