Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
