We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
