I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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