My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
