We won't sleep together?
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
