a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
