Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
