Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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